A little trickle…

Met a girl one night in college, fancied her for ages, I walked her home and we’d a beer on her sofa, after hours of groundwork we snogged, happy days I was over the moon, being a gentleman I cuddled up and we fell asleep on the couch.

About an hour later I was awoken to her taking a pee in the middle of the living room floor, sleep peeing I think the medical folk call it. I made my excuses and left having taken her to the bathroom. She could never look me in the face again.

Away with the fairies…

I met this guy out one night and agreed to meeting him again for a drink due to his total hotness and from what I can remember his nice personality. We went to a pub in a hotel down the country and this is when I realised the chap was seriously disturbed. Here is just a short list of some of the random things he said:

He hates all black people even tho he has black cousins (but he isn’t
racist).
He has been on four peace keeping missions but has peace-keeped in all African countries. As far as I’m aware there are more than four countries in Africa.
He hates Americans.
He hates Australians and they hate us cos we mess up their beaches.
African people are evil (yes he used the word evil) and talk to you through their eyes ( I should have left myself at this stage).
The mafia in Thailand hold Irish people on the ground and stuff drugs down their mouths and take pics and give them to the police.
He likes to go canoeing in the lakes of Mullingar on his own at night time.
He goes to see his grandmother in Barcelona twice every two years (would this not be easier to say once a year?!?).
He hates Mullingar (he is from there).
He hates Niall Breslin but seems to know way too much about him for my liking and maintains that only people in Mullingar, Dublin and Cork know who the Blizzards are.
He nearly fell off his chair when a kid walked behind him.
He kept scratching himself and was real jumpy if a fly landed on him or anything.

Oh also he said he was going to the toilet and went home – did I mention that?

Crazy, crazy boy….